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The Female Orgasm: Let me Rain on my Parade

The Inevitable Taboo:

Female orgasms have been a taboo for a while predominantly in the South-Asian parts of the world. The consequences have shunned down the "moans" (pun intended) of the women from all over the world and fake orgasms have taken over the counter. While it is no one's fault, but it is definitely a domino effect because the women who want to talk about it even in a private space, are ignored. This is because, when the majority tells you that a thing like "female orgasm" doesn't exist or it is a sin to even think about it, it plays a domino effect on the generations of young women thereafter.

It is also most definitely affected by how the media represents men versus how they represent women sexually. A lot of times, especially in the films, it is the woman who is the object of sexual desire and the man is masturbating to that object. It subconsciously normalizes the idea of masturbation in terms of the man but it most certainly doesn't do the same if and when the roles are reversed. I mean, let us be honest, the society doesn't expect teenage girls holding playgirl magazines and watching porn on their laptops. However, it is time that we break the taboo not because I feel that women are subject to over-sexualization or we need to have equal rights over orgasms. This is about us being able to stop this taboo from turning into a complete myth once and for all.

Is Female Orgasm a Myth though?

No. It is not. Plain and simple answer. The basis of all the myths linked to the female orgasms circle around the politicization of procreation and family. It is the woman who bears the eggs and has the ability to give birth to children. Regardless of what generation we are living in, women are going to be (in a general setting) "nurtures". But how is this related to a female orgasm? Our sexual desires have been extensively confused with the likes of what a man can provide to us. In some cultures, these desires are bounded by an alliance called marriage and others may not be as strict about institutions as long as the desire is fulfilled by the other. The genesis of the problem lies in the fact that we were never told that our sexual desires can be provided to us by our own selves.

If sexuality is one dimension of our ability to live passionately... then in cutting off our sexual feelings we diminish our overall power to feel, know, and value deeply - Judith Plaskow

"Did You Come Baby?"

I am sure you must have heard this phrase at least once in your life or probably your friend told you about it. There have been times in my personal life when people I've looked up to have used the saying "fake it till you make it" several times in regards to sex. I would take their advice and never once in my life did I tell the truth about how I didn't come until I did tell the truth and everything transformed into a magical-like state. It wasn't anyone's fault during the time. I just didn't know what it meant to be extremely honest. I did not know what it was like to be at your peak and have the "magical orgasm" of your life. The point being, awareness and discourse is very important. If I don't know my own body, and I don't know where my labia, vulva, and clitoris are, how do I expect the other person to understand something that I am a stranger to?

Mirror mirror on the wall, can you see my vagina? Is it falling too short? Labia, clitoris, vulva you all look the same to me, but I will get to know you. No Sean, Raul, or Paul tonight. I shall conquer the thrill and the thrall - Asmita Sen

The Seven Erogenous Zones:

It is never too late. If you have reached this far and I been able to keep you glued to this article, I want you to know that whether you are a man or a woman, you need to understand that this is extremely paramount for both the sexes equally. If you think that it is only the women who need to understand female orgasms, you've completely misunderstood me. It is a discourse that must be brought out on the table when you are in a relationship or even if you are casually having sex with someone. It could be any kind of a romantic/sexual relationship but this conversation is a must. You might think "this is too awkward", but trust me you deserve a good healthy sexual relationship. Last tip of the day: Do explore your own erogenous zones and observe what part of your body arouses you, and what doesn't. Let your partner know about these zones that arouse you and have fun.


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